New Year’s Yabai Resolutions


Frohes Neues Jahr!

Maligayang Bagong Taon!

Happy New Year!


I am sick and tired of the “New Year, New Me” movement. I mean, why do you even have to change yourself this year? Changing yourself every year will likely result in having a split personality or something.

Do you even have to change if you have a sick political ideology, and you endlessly bow down to a President that allows police brutality to flourish? Will pitying the dead mother and son erase the fact that you were once a blind maniac supporting a ‘strongman?’

I don’t think so. Changing your life this 2021 by denouncing yourself for supporting him is already too late. His daughter is now the possible leading candidate for the 2022’s Presidential Election.

Anyway, enough of these issues in 2021 now; why don’t we continue the Filipino tradition of toxic positivity? Let’s enjoy life! Live happily, and dodge all the social issues leftover from 2020 because we will continue repeating what we did this year. A stupid government affects everyone every year and any year. Why bother changing yourself?

I mean, being happy with everything is a good thing. And not speaking up even if you have the power to do so will make people even sadder and more stressed. Be happy with everything, and close your eyes whenever the government disappoints you, as always.

Also, go bingo yourself by blaming people for your failures. It sounds like the government. I know you have the same thick face as St. Francisco Duque III, who claims he did not fail his duty as the Health Secretary. If ever I hurt you with this paragraph, that means you’re probably like him, too.

Oh, my advice to campus journalists? Just continue being contest journalists, kids. Press freedom is dead and not a human right, anyway. Tokenism is still there; accept it. That’s how this big contest system works with the Journ Mafias who are afraid of students speaking up, making the Jorun Mafias happy this 2021, shut up and lick their dirty boots to win those contests, as you guys will always be contest journalists. Duh, get over with it, and continue becoming a bunch of school event stenographers!

Lastly, love? Love can fix everything, so go and find your special someone only to break their hearts again by not being committed and ask why there’s no one being with you throughout your success and failures.

Then what? Blame the people you “made paasa” and tell them that they didn’t wait for your first move, or they got too attached (too quickly), or maybe you just got bored with the entire thing.

Well, that’s fine. Who cares about feelings, anyway? Like what Ben Shapiro said, facts don’t care about feelings, and the fact is, even if you are a massive asshole while in relationships, who cares? Just be you and escape every tension you helped created with someone by making stupid excuses – continue breaking people’s hearts and ask something like, “Why haven’t I found the one yet?”

So why change yourself this 2021? Continue that rewarding narcissism and isolate yourselves from real feelings, social issues, and growth. Just be happy! Damn all those negative thoughts to hell.

Anyway, bato bato sa langit, tamaan e ‘di sapul!


Micah Corin A. Salonoy is a 17-year-old 12th Grade HUMSS student of Manuel A. Roxas Senior High School-Manila. She’s a consistent honor student who finished the Acceleration Program Curriculum of Sta. Ana Elementary School and Special Science Curriculum of Manuel A. Roxas Junior High School. Salonoy became Ang Gulong’s editor-in-chief in school year 2018–2019, also becoming a two-time RSPC Qualifier (2014, 2018). Together with 17 other Filipino students, she will represent the Philippines in the third batch of the MEXT’s Asia KAKEHASHI Project. Salonoy shares her essays, commentaries, and opinion on Revolt Magazine PH and Vox Populi PH. Read Micah’s thought pieces on Medium. You can email her at

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